Michelle, can u get worst than that??
Stop crying for goodness sake.

I don't like to be alone.
I dont like to be alone.
I dont like to be alone.
I dont like to be alone.
I dont like to be alone.
I dont like to be alone.

Stop your imagination and get on to work.
When will meemee be home?
When will sis be home?
How old are you Michelle? Still cant kick the habit off?
Fine. Stop your tears and get on to work..
NOW

STOP IT.

Please do understand that i am preparing for my exam.
Please do understand that i worry so much for my thinking skills and my maths.
Everyone can tell from the tone...AND U CANT?!

It's ok if you complain to me when i am, well, not studying.
Please don't do this to me when i am studying.
I am...not someone, that is totally like an angel.
I do get frustrated.

If you can't afford it, then please, don't get involved.
Rather then constantly being worried whether u got money or not.
Tired of hearing you complain!

I can never understand guys anyway..
Why bother wanting to have a gf, when you know she is one that requires alot of $$?!
Sick of it.

A cute baby


How can i forget such a detail.
Was walking home and there is this very cute girl..
She was walking with her meemee and she walked past me...
And she pointed to me..and said: " wuggi wuggi".
in such a cute tone too!
Arg...Cute!
Then the meemee smiled at me.
Cute lo!

Back and tired.

Had a nightmare last night.
T.T
Dreamt that i only got 5mark for 1009.
Pray hard, it's just a dream, and nothing else.
Then washed up.
AND IT'S NOT EVEN 8 AND MY NEIGHBOR START DRILLING!
So went out early to escape the NOISE.

One and only lesson of the day - 1010.
SIANS!
I am tired too!
Wanted to finish up my proj and off to home.
But nopes!
Tempted to go to KFC.
We walked there.
AND guess what, i am able to eat kfc in PEACE this time.
= )
Had chix!
Yummmmmmy...
= )
Nice nice nice!
Hehes.
Then intending to go swing de, but then, too late le.
=0

While on the way back, deldel asked me weird questions.
Dont ask me such questions, because, it just mean that i will have one night less sleep.
t.t
I cannot face the fact?
I would just choose to ignore.
I mean, i don't see why i should handle it when, it just doesn't make a difference.
Haish.
Great, my mind.

And after we talked to YongLin and stuff, followed del and sl to tcher's room.
They got to hand in their stuff.
And off i went to Chris house to use her ppt.
My soul is practically not with me.
I just kept thinking and thinking and thinking.
On 853 alone, i knocked my head on the window like thrice.
T.T
Dont think!!
Then waited for 812. And i WENT TO THE WRONG QUEUE.
Malu malu.
T.T
Then on board the bus, i saw claudya!
Hehes.
Been so long since i last saw her.
She say..me pretty leh!
*SHYS*
*michelle, wake up!*
Before you start puking infront of your comp... Hehes.
Then went to chris's house.
AND I AM DUMB!
I took the lift..Stopped at level3.
Walked out, like not her house.
Went back into the lift, went to level4.
Don't look like her house.
Went back into the lift, went to level 2.
Walked out, like not her house.
Then comfirmed it is level3.
Then walked out...went to the window..TADAHH..chris!

She got another new gate. So can't recognise.
Hehes.
I think she bought the corridor lo.
Then went to use her comp.
HER COMP!! VERY "FAST" AND "NOT" LAGGY ONE.
Hehes.Sry la. THX FOR LETTING ME USE UR COMP CAN.
I got a name for your comp le lo..
HEHES!
Slow turtle!
=X
Chris is enjoying life now. She is waiting for her Os...
And if she enroll into NAFA, she starts school at July?
*envies* And STOP telling me CNY!
I got exam on the fifth day! How to enjoy? T.T
TOOT GIRL!
Then used the comp AND I REDO THE PPT FOR LIKE 5TIMES!!
Cox it hang, then shut down.
Then must redo!
T.T
So i did till like 7plus.
T.T
Love Chris!
At least,i was thinking too much then.
CHRIS, better read my another blog hor!! Then give me advice..Hehes!
Okok, she used my phone...And she played Singapore Rhapsody. A piece we played during SYF.
We were singing the music and we are surprised that we can actually remember every single detail!
And which part we kept getting scolded.
Miss those days!!
My instrument..
I miss playing the F.Horn!
Hornies only..
=X
I miss lar! Though always got scolded, but love those days.
We did things together, got scolded together, cried together.
I MISS THOSE DAYS
The day we got our SYF result, i can still remember like very well.
We were so happy and screaming on the top of our lungs..
Then seconds later, realised is gold and not gold with honours..
then started tearing.

Miss those days.
Okok, enough of that Michelle, your readers gonna be bored.
Then went home..
My mind starts to wander.
haish!

Tired!
What to do?
What am i thinking?
I have no idea too..
Gosh.
I need...a memory pill..
Had a sucky dinner.
Meemee's not at home.
Sis is not at home.
T.T
They have such.........................exciting life.
At times, i envy my mum, or rather, i find her amazing.
okok, she is childish at times.
but she, is well, amazing.
Seeing the way she gives way to us. Seeing the way she work.
Seeing the way she manage to tolerate me and my sis's attitude,i really salute her.
Nahs, suddenly feel bad that i actually, talk back when i am feeling irritated.
Feel bad that she got to do most of the housework.
Feel bad that i am not performing well in school for her.
Feel bad for throwing temper at her at times.
Feel bad for everything..
I LOVE MY MEEMEE

Tried to study.
Realized that half of my maths assignment are done wrongly.
T.T
Dono how to do le.
T.T

Then dig up 1010 to study.
And guess what, MY STOMACH HURTS.
My body's way of protesting studying.
T.T

So, i shall sleep early in case, i wake up late tomorrow.
Nites all!
LOVE ALL

Just had a chat with yue..
Ar..
So long since we really talked.
Since we entered poly, each of us with our own lives.

Ok la, and me, always busy with stuff.
Busy resting.
=X
I realized, i changed so much.
i used to blabber off my mouth.
Just saying what i really feel.
But now, not much. I think before i speak.
Consequences.

I use to tell yue about everything.
I always tell her about the simplest thing.
As long as i am interested in a particular guy, i will ramble on and on and on.
And start worrying over the slightest thing.

But now, i just dont do this anymore.
Yes, i miss those days.
It seems, among most of my friends, she is one of those, i can show my vulnerable side.
I told her i miss being in my previous class,cox i wont be the dumbest in class.
T.t
See how............tsktsk.
Fine, shall start to study now!
No matter what, i also need to pass.
I miss 4e2.
I miss being in sec sch where we are just young kids.
Roaming around sembawang area.
Being in the band doing stuff.
i miss those days.
T.T

Oh my.
Stop it now.
Better start studying!
i am still a happy girl o!!
Hehes!
Woofs.

Tired!

No! I am not tired! It's all in the mind!
T.T
Hehes.
Am in a dreamy mode today.
Practically, the whole day is like dreaming.
From morning, till now. Am i dreaming!?

Okok, woke up late!
Woke up at 8.45. Late! Lucky junejune called.
T.T
Then bathed for a freaking 5mins!
fast!
Then rushed down without even tying my shoelaces.
Board the cab. Uncle very talkative.
And then, this uncle very funny.
I told him i want to go NYP.
Then talking and talking.
He say his son in NS, his daughter in dono what secondary school.
Then he ask me....what school am i from.
I am like "HUH?"
Then i say..nyp..
then he orh...
Abit blur lo.
And guess how much the cab fare is, $9.00 leh!!!!!!
T.T
Can have one KFC meal le la.
T.T

Then rushed for maths, end up, there's like only 4people in the lecture hall.
T.T
SO TIRED!!!!!
I hate it when it's near exams.
My body just starts to go against me.
Woke up at 1am the morning.
Went to the toliet to puke.
YES.
That is what happen when exam's near.
Either my stomach go haywire, or i tend to want to puke.
So, from now till 2of March, it's a...well, tiring thing for me.
T.T

Okok.
Had maths lecture, then head over to Newton to eat.
Had the super spicy noodles.
Yummms.
Then went to terry's hse.
Well, and we went to the playground.
WANTED TO PLAY THE SWING. but then, dont have.
So just played catching.
T.T
Yes, we are kids.
= ) Very tired. Been so long since i played catching.
Fun fun!
= )

Then head over to terry's house to drink water.
Then head back to school.
=0
Had elp. then no more lesson le.
Waste my time again.
Or rather, my bus fare!
T.T
Never mind.
Am actually feeling super not right now.
Why?
I am just worried!
Worried about anything that is "worryable".
T,T

Okok, found out that my bday will fall on fri.
I love bdays. But i hate the age.
I don't want to be 18!
Junejune and i, we dont want to be 18.
Can we remain as 17forver?? I know cannot.
I love my age, if can, i don't mind being younger.
I know many people love and want to be 18. Or older.
Why?
It's like the age to legal drinking, legal clubbing(*not all*), legal smoking and all sorts.
Oh yes, not forgetting, the responsibility. And bearing of all consequences of your actions.
I love being young. Meemee will help you plan stuff, people help you plan your stuff, you just follow.
And consequences? You dont bear them all.
When you are younger, you do wrong things, and guess what, you can most of the time escape! Afterall, you are young, and you wont know what is right and what is wrong.
Now, older, whatever we do, people judge.
We are expected to do it right.
We are expected to do as EXPECTED.
I hate it. Ok, it's very obvious mich is just afraid of consequences.
I always try and avoid trouble.
I just hate to be place in a situation when i need to make a choice. Worrying if the choice is right or wrong.
I dont want to grow up!!

But come on, Michelle, you got to get on.
Can start grumbling about this, but the fact remains!
Live on Michelle.




And it's freaky the way she died and what was happening.
The deathnote advert.
Like my sis fren's blog said, it's like she is destined to die one.
And her assistant escaped death.
And the car she was in, is the Mini cooper, one of the safest car in the world.
But why did the airbags fail to function.
She severed Coma Index 3.
And the way the doctor describe the situation of the brain - tofu liked.
And news...proved something more freaky.
128, date 28/1/07.
She was reading page 128, the main actress in the Deathnote died on 28/1/07.
Blood staining road signs.
Freaky. Yes.
To me.
I am watching all news about her on youtube.
And years ago, another lady actress died.
On the same date.
On the road.

No matter whether she is an actress, or a singer, she is afterall a human.
I know many people died in car accidents.
But it's just saddening to hear this piece of news.
The water retention in her brain and stuff.
Heartbreaking.
For a young girl, a talent.
And i believe, she is a nice girl.
Since so many people say so.
Saying that she just returned home, to somewhere safer and happier.
When one dies, those that are hurt most = the living.
I am not a great fan of XuWeiLun.
But somehow, her death impact me much.
Many descibed it as : 天使回天上去了
I believe so. Evil doers, live long. And usually, those kind hearted people die early.
Well, perhaps almighty up there wants the nice people to go up to help him?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Life is so unpredictable.

Love those around you.
Cherish all around you, even your enemy!
Appreciate all around.

Everyone seems stressed up.
It's the exams stress?
Or other stuff.

Everywhere i head, it seems, all exams.
Msn nicks.
Blogs.
Sms-es complaints.
Everything.

Everyone is feeling so stressed up.
So michelle, cannot feel so stressed up too!
It takes one to make everyone's day!
= )
So, i shall take on the responsibility to brighten whoever is feeling super stressed up!
= )
So, i wont start complaining about my maths, and everything.
Good luck people!

I shall just off my wireless.
Sick and tired of going online, facing your attitude problem.
T.T

Shall head to serious work(*read academic stuff*)
I am tired!
*YAWNS*
Wish me luck people!

Giddy Diddy


Woke up early.
I knew i hate nightmare once again.
Last night, i didn't really have a good rest.
*yawns*
Had jacktan's lesson in the morning.
Honestly speaking, his lessons bore me now.
T.T
Then had lunch.
I LOVE THE DUCK noodles in FJ.
Yummmms!

Then did a little of my programming proj(*i am hooked on it*).
Then had maths!
I am once again starting to be afraid of maths!
T.T
I scared la!
And my thinking skills!
Die die die.
T.T
Scared!
Never mind.
Michelle, jiayous!

=)

Then after that head over to huili's hse and back to school to hand in the proj.
I just added the 4X4 thingy.
I love C# now!
Hehes.
Okok, i think i really should start studying.
Yeaps.
And i wish all, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FOREIGN LANG TEST/EXAMS!
Goodie Luck!

Reached home early, head immediately to watch Hana Kimi.
= )
I love the show because of Wu Zun's char in the movie.
So sweet and loving!
No such perfect guy le la.
T.T
= )

I am feeling so sleepy now, but i seriously need to at least start studying.
T.T
So afraid i can't clear my exams.
Cannot afford to fail one.
My thinking skills.
Gosh!
Kiakia.
What stupid system is it la, fail one module, then cannot rejoin back the class.
T.T
Gosh!
Kiakia.

OKok, stop worrying and DO SOMETHING!
=)
Okok, back to blog later!

Your little actions made me smile.

Finally created my new TicTacToe.
Gosh!
I nearly screw the whole thing up!
It's a rather complicated tictactoe now.

Wondering if i should hand this up rather then the previous one.
I personally love this more than the previous one because the normal 3X3 ones are wayy too boring.
So i create this.
Lols, just a project anyways.
Just adding on some new stuff only.
Just a 4X4 and a 3X3 combined together.
=)
I am hooked onto tictactoe now!.
T.T
wk made a tictactoe this afternoon and i so want to post it.
T.T
Tomorrow, lessons.
i am tired and so enjoying my weekend.
When can the exam be over?
I want my playdough please.
I want my holidays please.

The more i think, the more i want to gorge out my eyeballs.
Grrr.
I am feeling so stuffy!
This sian feeling is coming back, i thought i could say goodbye to it for good.
Sundays are indeed Siandays.
T.T

I hate it when i think too much.
I hate it when i worry too much.
*Yawns*
Am i cursed or what?
Michelle, yes, go bang your head on the wall*
Don't mind me blogging, i am just..TOO TIRED of thinking.
Thinking of irrelevant stuff.
I hate it.

It's my problem, it's me me and only me!
All in the mind.
I just want to be someone that doesn't care a single bit about what others think of me.
I just want to be that kinda person.
Can i can i?
Maybe that way, i am a happier person.

Michelle, talk lesser, do lesser and you are going to make lesser mistakes.

Don't put my brain into such a situation.
I hate it.
Why must you place me into such a situation.

So tired.
My mind needs a beak from everything.
I hate you.
I hate you.

I am sucha GENIUS!!

Woofs.
okok.
My meemee is not at home. Out for company lunch.
Sis not at home. Gone to chase farenheit. I hate crowds so i gave it a miss.
So, i am left alone at home.
Cooked my own lunch.
AND I AM SUCHA GENIUS!

There is nothing i can cook at home, but hey, i came up with one unique recipe.
Woofs.
Managed to steam the egg. So that it taste so much like egg tofu. (*NO OIL*).
Then i cooked the noodles which is very much like those cold noodles.
And the seasoning i made it myself.
Taste totally tangy!
Sweet and sour.
Omg!
I am sucha genius.

Okok, i am tasting it. And testing to see if i will suffer any stomachache.
T.T
If you dont see me tomorrow,means i got FOOD POISONING.
Hehes.

Reading your comments, i feel bad.
I didn't know, or didn't think that the simple action of mine can cause this.
I am evil.
I indeed am.
Michelle, bang the wall.

Yawns.
Tomorrow is monday.
MOnday = beginning of the week of schooling.
=(
I am tired.
I want to lay on bed the whole day and just think about nothing.
I just want to sit infront of the teevee and all i do is think about teevee.
I dont want to bear any responsibility.


Yawns.
Michelle, is once again talking crap.

Am i that not sensitive?
Perhaps i am.
Afterall, i see guys as insensitive people, so well, i don't really think before i speak.
Ok, now thinking back, i am really not sensitive!
Michelle, yes, go bang your head on the wall.

Tsktsk.
How can i actually do that? Or rather say that.
It's not on purpose, just that, i thought...we are friends, so can talk about anything.
Michelle, go bang your head on the wall again.

But what done is done.
No time to regret my actions.
Haish.
Such stuff, shan't blog too much about it.

Okok, went to have dinner with meemee.
WOOFS!
It's her chinese birthday today.
And she bought me a new shoe(*anti-slip = very good*) and a purple long sleeved top(*cold weather = good*).
Yipppes!!

Hehe.
OKok.
Singapore Vs Malaysia is on Channel 5 later.
=)
Sis is out to watch it LIVE(*As in, in the stadium*).
Meemee and me will watch it at home.
Oh yes, meemee decided to clean the storeroom of ours.
T.T
Our storeroom is totally untidy and dirty.
And guess what, she threw away all my toys!
ESPECIALLY MY MASAK MASAK(*cooking toys*).
T.T
I will miss them alot alot.
T.T

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.

You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.

You are feeling full of uncertainty and worrying over what you consider as missed opportunities. This is causing considerable stress and tension. You feel that there must be more to life than the constant pressures and anxieties - that surely life must hold far more opportunities than that which it has to date presented to you. You sincerely believe that there must be a simpler way to tap life's hidden recourses and should you be able to find that way - you could achieve your hearts desire. It's the not knowing 'how' that is affording you the constant worry. You are constantly probing and seeking - trying to ensure that at all times you are on your guard against missing any opportunity. 'Enough is enough'. You are anxious to avoid further setbacks. You are strenuously trying to make sure that you will not be overlooked and you badly need security.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realise all your ambitions.

Saw this link and well, since i have nothing much to do, i shall just head in to do.
True or not?
Who cares.
=)

No food.
No energy to think.
Where is my lunch?
Where is my lunch?

I am hungry.
T.T
C&I sucks.
Hungry hungry!
Headache.
Yawns*

....hehe...
i cant get to study..
i am distracted...
Hehes....

I said i will be studying right?
lols, okok, just another minute more.

Was just wondering.
Humans are a very weirf bunch right.
Being weird makes all normal.
Hmmmm.
Human want others to care.
And yet when you are being cared for, you get irritated and pressured at times.
Contradicting.

Hmmms.
Nothing nothing.
I am officially going back to revision.
=)

STOMACH PAIN.
=(
Just woke up at 11.
And guess what, i immediately went down to buy pen and foolscap paper!
Am i hardworking or what.
I just decided to study.
Creativity and Innovation?
Tell me what to study man!

Memorise work seems a weebit dumb.
Never mind never mind.
*yawns*

Didn't had a good sleep last night.
Stomach hurts like hell.
T.T
*yawns*

Tired.
Okok, back to revision now!
Tulu~
(*not for long. >.<*)

tired.
I am sick of all the pretends.
I am sick of everything!
I am sick of pissing you off.
I am sick of being the small girl.
I am sick of being the one what can't take care of herself.
I am sick of everyone playing the game of pretend.
I am sick of everyone pretending to be righteous.

So sick of it all.
I am sick of pretending i am alright.
I am so sick of it.

I hate making you angry.
A friend i want to keep for long.
Please do not care about my business anymore.
Whether i like someone or not, it will no longer be your business.
I am tired of being the girl that listens to your advice.
I am tired of being the nice girl.
I am not nice.
I am not good.
Forget it.

I don't want to and have no wish to trouble you or anyone with my troubles.
Or rather worries.
Don't make be dependent on others.
I promised i won't be that way.


I am just tired of all the politics.
In games, there are politics.
In reality there are.
Where to escape to?
I have no idea.

I just need myself.
I dont want your advice.
I am tired of everything.
SO tired.

Stop worrying about me.
Stop caring.
It gives me too much pressure.

I know i am jumping to the deep hole.
I am not afraid of getting hurt.
I am just happy to be beside.

Thanks for your concern.
I no longer want to be the one.
Gives me too much pressure.
Forget it.

I am just tired.
Let me sleep.

MEEMEE SAW WUZU AT BUGIS JUNCTION.
WHY ONLY AUNTIES GOT SUCH LUCK DE?!!
HUMPF!
I WANT TO SEE!

Managed to blog my first entry there.
Woofs.
Chris if you happen to read my blog, i only gave u the link o!
Hehes.

I WANT TO SEE WUZUN NOW!!!!!!!

Was doing the usual browsing through the net.
(*shall start studying tml. Honest!*)

Okok, chanced upon the phrase : keep your fingers crossed.
Do you cross your fingers at times when you need luck?
Well, i realised i do.

It works?
Well, many said that it works.
I am not sure whether it works.
But i have the tendency to do that when i am afraid or well, like i've said, need luck.

Ok la, if you are wondering what's the point of me blogging.
Well, nothing.
Hehes.
Just feel like blogging yet my mind is in a blank.

Deleted the previous stuff in italics.
Nahs, just feel like deleting it since it makes no diff.
=)

*fingers crossed*

Was superbly bored and so decided to head to xiaxue's blog.
And guess what, i found this vid she posted on her blog.
Freakingly funny!
Lols.
I mean, the way the guy trys to irritate the poor prata man.
He kept repeating.
Freakingly funny la!
Hahas!
Watch!
No offence though.

Back

Starting from 8.00, i have been yawning.
Well, at least not in school.
The moment i am home, i am yawning.
(*hippos*)
Yeaps.
I am tired.
Just feel that going to school today is a plain waste of time.
Absolutely.
Just a ELP lesson.
And 1009.

Oh yes, one happy news today.
I ATE KFC!
YEAPS!
Not Zinger mean(*i so feel like eating it now!*) but the two piece meal.
(*kfc commercial is on teevee now! T.T*)
Hehes.
I ate two only o!!!
=)
But then...but then..i ate the skin!
Skin never mind, i forgot to scrape away the oil. WHICH MEANS, IT'S OILY SKIN.
But then, never mind la, long long one time.
Hehe.
YUMMMMS.

Eat kfc, must eat alone.
Cox, wk and sl, the way they eat, make till my food taste not nice.
Their food is like nicer.
T.T
So much nicer than mine lo!
T.T
Tsktsk.
But never mind.
The chix skin is yummy!!
Sinful but yummy!
I love KFC!
Yumms yumms!
KFC!!
Woofs.

(*what's for dinner tonight??*)
Thinking hard whether i should eat dinner or not.
Hmmm.
Looking at the skin, haish.
Never mind, now still early.
=)

Then after that, junejune and i went to buy cake.
Nono, not the big big kind.
Is the small small ones.
I bought Black Forest and junejune got tiramisu.
YUMMMS!!
And we got to rush back to school and we walked really fast.
Hehes.

THen had lecture.
I so feel like watching movie.
Yeaps.
I wanna watch horror movie(*dont ask me to look into the mirror!!*)
Hehes.
It's always the case one.
When i am free, no one want to watch.
When i am not free, suddenly everyone wanna watch.
Either wanna go home, if not workin.
T.T
Nevermind, shall rest at home!
Be a good girl today(*i am always a good girl de mahx*)
Hehes.

[Deleted]

Never mind about what i wrote.
I just want to beside.
Never mind.
Oh crap.
Michelle, stop your nonsense.
Tulus!
Off to drink honey!!
Throat hurts like hell.

Michelle!
You are one weird girl.
You know you will be happier if you know less.
And yet, you want to go and read.
Just avoid!

You know the word impossible exist.
And you want to place your leg in.
Forget it.
I am tired.
*yaawwnnnsss*

A simple thing, a simple sentence, yet i am feeling so.
*yaawwwnnnssss*
i am tired

Scared

I hate to use the word "scared" but i am now.
Why am i up so early? Because i am scared to sleep now.
A series of nightmares that made me wake with tears in my eyes.
I hate nightmares. And worst when it can't stop.
After a really freaky nightmare, i woke up.
Intending to sleep again. I did.
And once again, another nightmare.

I am actually trying hard to remember what's all the nightmare about.
But i can't.
So sleepy and tired now.
*yawns*
But nahx, wont get back to sleep.
Been a looonnngggg time since i last had nightmares.
And it's so cold now!!
Brrrrr..


okok, cut things short.
I AM TIRED.
*yawnssss*

Michelle.
So many times, i told myself to not be so playful.
I forgot my new Year resolution to talk less and play less.

I find myself irritating, dont you feel so?

That is one cool tic tac toe.
Superbly cool.
Well, just becox the girl is pretty!
Really!
*drools*
SHe is pretty!
And the fighting scenes in Advent children.
IS PRETTY!!

*drools*
wonder how they managed to draw them man.
*drools*


p/s: this ttt is not done by me..no worries

Pretty.
*drools*

YAWNS

Back is much better.
= )
No worries.
Hehes.
Just feeling lousy for not being able to hide the pain.
Michelle learn
Never mind about that.

I swear i am going to eat KFC tomorrow.
Grrrrrr.
Hehes.

Heard from meemee about the floods in M'sia.
Got reason one!
I heard from meemeee. She read from the chinese papers.
The villagers there (*in one of the village*) caught the 海龙王's son.
It's a fish that looks odd. Abit looking like those dragons we commonly see.
The head of it.
And they caught it.
So now, the floods and all, is punishment.
They predicted that in feb, there will be a worst flood.

Interesting news right.
Sounds like something out of the Journey To The West.
Cool.

I so hate myself!

The ability to not heal fast.
The ability to read too much in people's words.
All those, i hate myself for that.

Michelle ar Michelle.
Ok, why am i at home?
I woke up super early today.
My back hurt too much.
gosh!
Pray pray wont be so pain tomorrow.
I dont wanna miss school.
T.T
Woke up early.
Can't do much.
Wanted to be a healthy child.
But cannot, pain.
Michelle, you just sucks
My skin hurts.
Kneel hurts.
Practically, i feel so old!
O-L-D!
gosh.

Was doing nothing, just around reading blogs and some other stuff.
Realised that i read alot into people's words.
And it just affects me.
Afterall, Michelle worries too much about how others think about her.
Too much.
Michelle ar Michelle.
I am indeed a contradicting person.
I hate it when someone speaks behind my back(*impossible to avoid*) and yet, i worry too much when words are spoken.
Michelle!
I need to learn, learn to not care.
Well, i really worry too much.
Till at times, i am tired.
Too tired.

Be myself?
I lost myself.

Back hurt. Everywhere hurt. But all for the beach, it's worth it!
Woofs.
Back to rest!
Good luck peeps.
I think i will head to Bugis to pray pray tomorrow.
Can soon bian shop shop.
=X Trying to do light studying today.
=)
In all, Michelle is a wayyy too happy girl to be sad over stuff for long!
p/s: my throat hurts and the honey is not making it any better this time!

Grateful, i got to be!

Back home safely, with all limbs intact.
Okok, i will go into that later.

Went to school today.
Had AUTOCAD test!
Too too me!
Went to do the shift shift method, so got error.
But never mind, one test down le!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Then had DE.
Which i am already tired.
I hate two hours lecture.

Then went to Vivo to eat before heading to Sentosa.
Junejune, wk, sl and i, went to The Chicken Rice Stall. Ok,i didnt eat.
Gastric pain! Eat more, pain more.
T.T
Unlucky things always happen together.
Then ate.
I see them eat, i also hungry de lo.
But cannot, so oily, gastric will hurt more.
So tolerate!

Then ate the choco.
Hehes.
Then headed to Sentosa.
We took the Sentosa Express which is the "train".
I love it!
So cool!!
Hehes.
3dollars admission too.
Hehes.

We went to the beach there(*duh*).
Played around and stuff.
I love the beach!
I love the beach!
Hehes.
Lying down there, is the best relaxation i can have.

Was playing around.
I realized something about myself.
I am ok with whatever is done to me.
Well, that means "wan de qi" to some people.
But then, there is this one word that i can never tolerate.
I get angry, but not with the one that said that, i am angry with myself.
I just don't care if it's a joke or a plain remark, i am just angry with myself for giving that impression.
Never mind, over le.
Hehes.
I sat at this bridge there, lying down.
The best i can ever have too.
The sun shining brightly.
The cool wind.

Thinking about anything that can be thought.
Thinking whether, i really felt what i felt.
If it's true.

Soon, one by one,all came.
Got fishies!
Fishies!
Small lil silver fishies that reminds me of Ikan Bilis.
Hehes.

Then left the beach.
The water in the beach is freaky.
Why? There is this constant needlelike prick at some times.
Pain lo!

Then went to change and bathed.
Tired! My skin hurts like hell.
Pain! Then gj in a hurry.
So we gotta rush.
He have to have dinner with his family.

And i tell you, i never felt worst!
I am totally shocked with what happened.
And i am angry, of cox not angry with him, just with myself.
He is in a hurry and i am kinda like slow in climbing up the lorry.
Barely sat down and the lorry drove, and junejune is still not up the lorry.
I am "dangling", ok not that bad.
I only had my legs to support myself. With half my body outside the lorry.
I had the freakiest feeling. I only had my legs on the lorry.
And the lorry is still moving.
THANK GOD that wk and sl are already on the lorry.
No them, no me now.
T.T
That serious? Ok la,seems mild to some people, but the super scared pain me, is grateful lo.
Really.
Hands reached out in time.
Or i am really, wont be dead, just scratched badly.
Thanks! And i think i felt someone holding my back, junejune right.
THANKS!
Thanks so much!
I am really grateful.
I never felt this before.
This really "i owe my life to you" feeling.
Thanks!

Went back onto the lorry. My back hurt once again.
Once again~
Hurt so much, i just can't fight back the tears.
Michelle, you are really useless.
But the feeling, is really creepy.
I know, it's not serious.
It just don't look serious to me, but i am freaked out.
Freaked out.
I just can't get my mind of the short incident.
At least we got people crapping on the lorry.
The thought of it now sends chills down my spine.
No no, michelle,you dont be so weakling.
I dont want to think about the incident anymore.
I dont want!!!

Somehow,i think, i wont take the lorry anymore.
The feeling irks me.
I am afraid.
Me,timid.
A short time of less than 1min hanging.
Lotsa thoughts in my mind.
Honestly, i am so afraid that they will hold my, I am HEAVY la.
And the second thought, i just want to let go.
just forget it.
And the third thought, confirmed what i felt.
But, is it true that i felt that way.
All along i thought it was just a pure crush?
Or is it?
I don't know.
Never mind about that!

We had dinner at Khatib.
I am just afraid of getting down the lorry.
Really afraid!
Dinner was great.
The shock scare the gastric pain away.
Back now le.
Had the stingray.
Had Sotong.
Had eggs.
Had veggies(*me love veggies, no matter what!*)
Yumms.
Full Full Full!

Took the bus home. Wanted to walk home but i am tired!!
TIRED!
Reached the bus interchange.
Wanted to get water.
But my whole mind is on the lorry, opened the "door", and knocked onto my head!
And guess what, PAIN LA!
My swollen area is like so easy to get hit now!

Am back home now.
Tired!
Cannot tell meemee i nearly fell from the lorry or she will kill me.

Can i have a dog?
Hehes.
I see my friend's dog, i want la!
I want!
I want i want!

Told my friend about the lorry thing.
Sry la!
ps.
I didn't keep my promise.
I need to take care of myself.
I know.
I am.
Just that i am suay.
I need..to...go pray pray le.

Thanks June, Thanks Weikang,Thanks Shauloon.
Thanks so much!
Grateful!
Thanks!
(*i totally embarrassed myself today. And i so hate it.*)

Sudden

Well, have been thinking of my maternal grandma.
Why?
Was taking the bus to school today and this old lady was sitting beside me.
And i just feel that she looks like my grandma.
I miss her!
She is the hippiest grandma on earth!

I remember her laughter. Her superb cooking skills.
I remember coming to our house, sit on the sofa.
And my sis will show her her drawings.
Then she will praise my sis.
And she will go with my mum to fetch us.

But she left us when i was in primary 5.
That day, was a day filled with signs that she was leaving us.
Even before that, she gave us signs.
On the day, she left us. Signs were shown.
Around evening, we were with her at her own home.
She was still alive.
But at the same time, my mama's maid heard her voice from the door.
She gave us signs.
But we didnt catch them.
When we were having lunch.
When she called us to go over to her house.

We went to her house.
She called my sis and i to go into the room to play.
She seldom do that.

My mom was watching the show on Channel8.
She dozed off.
And i think then, my grandma, she decided to leave peacefully in her sleep.
She took her dentures out(*which by right, need to take out at night only*).
And she slept beside the sofa my meemee was sleeping on.
Then we heard meemee shouting because she wanted to wake her up.
But failed.
She became cold after her last breathe.
My grandma.
We all called the ambulance which took like SO LONG TO come.
well, they said if they know is an elderly, they will take slower because they know cannot make it already.
We tried to call mama.
Everyone hard to reach.

Ambulance came.
Brought her to the hosp.
Announced.
All of us cried.
Cried like hell.
Went to see her in a room.
Her eyes are half closed.
Hard to close.

Heart wrenching to see everyone crying that badly.
I cried. I love my grandma alot.
I pitied my meemee.
She sticks to my grandma like paper and glue.
Heart wrenching.
The day she was cremated.
My meemee, my mama, and all aunts, they cried like hell.
Us, as grandchildren, cried too.
Even jeremy, he shed not a single tear. But on that day, he cried.

I miss her.
She is a nice lady.

ANGRY LA!!

My meemee, my sis and i are like cursing at home.
CURSING!
My meemee dont like us to curse, but she also angry.
Watching Malaysia Vs Singapore, Asean Cup.

Not i want to say, but i just dont like them!
And the referee(*frm china*) is freaking idiotic!
Like never play soccer before like that.

The malaysian team like fouled us SO MANY TIMES, nothing happened.
PLay rough, nothing happen.
Then all of a sudden, singapore player got red card.
Even the camera didn't catch what he did.
What the!
He is like so shock la.
Sunday, he can't play.

Then, Msians started to play rough.
Nothing happened.
Singapore player was handling the ball, malaysian player fell, then singapore player got a YELLOW CARD.
Even he laughed at the fact that he got a yellow card.

90mins.
Additional 4mins given.
At the 4th min, msian taking corner~
Corner flag spoil, still can stop clock for it one lo!
ALready 4th min le lo!

Tsktsk.
2nd leg, Sunday.
Played in Singapore.
Live on Channel5.
Sis and her friends heading down to stadium to watch so meemee and i shall watch at home.
Grrrr.

PAIN

My meemee..helped me to rub my bump with the egg.
and my meemee, is well known to exert ALOT of force on wounds one!
She rubbed my head, like it's not head like that lo!
Rubbed and used her FINGERS TO PRESS SOMEMORE!
Say must rub, if not no good!
PAIN!!
And guess what, the egg, not FULLY COOKED ONE!
Now my forehead is like, sticky sticky one.
(*sis screaming at the backgrd...Soccer~*)

She rubbed. Pain!
Pray pray wont blueblack.
Later,blueblack, like birth mark.
I dont want!
Enough ugly le, cannot afford to be uglier le.
T.T
Time to rub "honey ointment" on it...

Was doing nothing.
N-O-T-H-I-N-G .
So when i am bored, i think.
Hehes.

And i am wondering why my tears flow like a spoilt tap.
I wonder why.
I remember meemee telling me about my crying moments.
When i was a baby(*which i have no memories of*), my auntie will come to my side and tell me i am a naughty girl.
And i will immediately cry. Cry.
My aunt is like no scolding me or anything, just SAYING.
Simple things like that.

Then when i am in primary school.
I got this form teacher(*maths teacher*) that is very fierce. You do something wrong, your hands will get hit.
And he will scold over something small.
I remember seeing one of my classmates getting scolded and i cried.
CRIED!

And as i get older, it just gets worst.
My tears are like free flow~
And at times, i just dont want to cry, i just dont want to, but then, it just flows!
When i know i am not feeling sad, angry or in a state of mind where tears is need, it just wants to flow.
I see someone cry, tears just automatic flow.
When i fear someone is angry, tears auto flow.
AUTO.

Weird.
Like today in ELQ.
Was talking to junejune.
And well, was referring to something/someone that i fear.
And can feel tears.

I don't understand why too.
My eyes, got problem or something?
I dont understand!

Remember One Litre Of Tears.
First epi, less than 2mins into the show, i started crying le.
And there is no one epi that i wont cry one.
Hana kimi, i cried when Ella cried.
Gosh.

Is it some bodily malfunction or just in the mind?
I wonder..

F-E-A-R

I see myself time and time again being pulled down by the word fear.
It's hard for me to play wildly with friends i know for less than 2years.
As in, really hard.
Why? I fear that one might get angry.
So, fear is something that really ties me down.
Fear of failing. Fear of falling. Fear of Pain.

If i can be someone that really heck care everything and everyone's feelings.
but the feeling of making someone angry is one of the worst feeling.
Anger might turns into hatred.
Worst.

Junejune and i have been thinking and thinking today again.
Headache!
I was actually walking to school today thinking about something really DUMB.
Is dumb!
If i ever want to adopt a kid, i wont get married(*if i am that suay la*).
Why? I wont want to put the kid at risk.
Why? Guys are jerk.
You love and hate them(*applying to girls*).
Woofs.
nothing nothing.
hehes!!

Shiat. I just forgot that i need to "revise" for the autocad tomorrow.
Hehes.

Loving and hating to love you.

TUESDAY

Tired! Thought i will be very energetic today.
Thought so.
But, MORE TIRED ONE LO!
I hate afternoon lessons because i will get more restless.
And the giddiness starts the moment i am awake.
Gosh`
Don't tell me, it's back~
Sians!

Woke up at like 8.30!
Tired. And guess what,the giddiness is making me dumber!
Took the lift down, to take bus.
Sat at the bus stop, took out my circuit to check if it works.
NOT WORKING.
Freaked out.
Rushed back home. And realised that, is the battery snap wire that is not connected!
Diaoz
Then took lift down again.
Board the bus, wanting to tap my ezlink card.
FORGOT TO BRING. And i went back up again!
Junejune is spreading her blurness to me.
Wooops!

Then i rushed all the way to the tut room.
RUSHED LO!
Handed in, then nothing to do.
So waited for junejune.
And i really got nothing to do there.
Once again, the stupidity kicks in.
Wk, played that flicking game again.
The problem with me is that, i tend to like playing such TORTURING games(*NOT SM GAMES*).
But hurts alot la!
The bump is there. I totally heck care about the pain.
Just UGLY!
Maybe i will be smarter?(*think wk*)

Then after that, LAB.
Junejune and i are like half dead. We used to be very enthu with prac work.
But today, we are just HALF DEAD.
Didnt really understand what the Lab sheet is about.
T.T

We just had zero energy today.
Then is lecture.
Another boring lesson.
T.T

Plans to go sentosa tomorrow.
Wooofs.
I don't really want to go, but then, I LOVE THE BEACH!
I just want to take tomorrow as a last day for RELAXATION.
Hiaks.
I think i better cut this entry short.

I really got a hard time clicking with older people la.
Time to be more of a hypocrite la.
The more i think, the more i feel that, we need to be hypocrite at times.
That is right when we don't hurt someone.
Maybe, it's time i learn that.
Try michelle try!

Guilty

Be Grateful

Was doing the usual.
Complaining and complaining.
Was showing my friend my Tic Tac Toe.

And i told him what are the usual functions.
And he was like zzZZZ.

Honestly, i love the class, well at least i met some nice people in the class.
But then, this class, is way too competitive.
How should i say it.
The tic tac toe, was supposed to be a purely TTT. Means the functions and all.
And we just kept adding our own stuff(*i know do more, mistake more*).
And i just thought of something.
Our class. Teacher wants us to draw an apple, we will add mango la, and all kinds of fruits.
So, you see, tiring~

Looking at my DE.
Teacher never say need switch. I add one switch in.
Haish~
I used to hate this.
Remember telling junejune that being in this class is like being in a game of Survivor.
You fail one game(*module*), and game over.
That kinda feeling.
Have been hearing lecturers say that our group(aa and ab) belong to the more special group.
And honestly, we just don't see why~
If you tell me, they look at the O-Level grade, that is total crap.
I am actually sick of it.
It's like in the army, or in the police force. You may be the most competent one, but no cert= no promotion.
Sucks.
Why is it that out worth are determined by the cert, by a piece of paper.
Oh crap, that is contradicting.
I measure myself with academic too.
I sucks in studying, means i sucks as a human~
How weird.

Why the sudden thought about such stuff?
Maybe i am just plain bored.
When you are bored, your mind just wanders and think on its own.
=)

Going to head to school soon.
Tired.
Sleepy and lazy.
I hate to go to school in the afternoon.
T.T

Tulus~


p/s: Gosh. I am loving the white taggy(*esp when i am online*).
Once new comments are added, i will be alerted. It's likeMSN! Noisy, but efficient.

Finished watching Hana Kimi epi10.
Arh..
At last. And i have nothing to do now.
Diaos.

How i envy the char rui xi.
So lucky.
All she wants is to be the guy that stays beside the guy she likes.
Yeaps, she went into a Boys' school to study. No one knows that she is a girl.
But the guy she likes know(*btu she dont know he knows*).
And they are roommates too.
So, she be the angel beside him and he is the guardian for her.
Sweet lar.

Of course, the comical characters ah shu and xiu yi mades everything funny and lighthearted.
=)

Now, there is nothing to do.
So feel like watching One Litre of Tears.
Never mind, let me entertain myself then.
Woof~~~

Over the Rainbow

Judy Garland

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?


MUST LISTEN!
May sound a bit kuku at first,
It's the Wizard of Oz song.

YAWNS

I am sleepy!!
So sleepy!!
Why am i up so early? I forgot to "reset" the alarm.
Woke up and tried hard to get back to sleep but failed.
T.T
So i am up now. YAWNING LIKE THE HIPPOS.
I kept hitting on the bump last night.
At least, the swell is gone.
Hehes.

I did the DE last night.
And guess what, i found out that the problem with my previous circuit is not with the connection, BUT THE LEDS!
I did the circuit the second time, the same problem appeared. And i changed the LED, and tadahhh done!
Hehes.
Am i dumb or am i dumb?
Hehes!

Great, what should i do now to keep myself entertained?
Hmmmmms.
I wonder~

BACKIES!!


Tired!
Home!
Happy!
Bruised!

Okok, woke up early today.
Woke up feeling happy because i know i completed my PCB proj and TicTacToe.
Hehes.
Went to school with junejune.
Had to drag my lappy to school because i want to hand in my TicTacToe today.
Then first lesson, is Creativity and Innovation.
IS A WASTE OF TIME.
Okok, i know it's wrong to "pon" lessons but then, it's a total waste of time!!
Then lunch. Only ate bread. Because, i so don't feel like eating.
When i am superly happy, i seldom eat.
That is only when i am SUPERLY happy.
So just bread and chocolate drink.
And i had to go through a series of shock.
Well, wk and sl, decided that they will give darling kerstin a check~
Check if he's clean.

They are rough with kerstin!
Plucked his keys.(*i know must pluck to check*)
And then, they like got difficulty placing them back.
*heartache*
Then at last, in the lecture hall, place back le.
*phewwww*

Love maths today. The "guest lecturer" looks like our sec sch teacher.
She got this attitude in her.
But her lessons are not too bad.

Then PCB lesson.
The teacher just don't believe i troubleshoot the board myself.
DO I LOOK LIKE I AM NOT CAPABLE OF GETTING MY OWN STUFF DONE?
But managed to convince her in the end.
Felt so argh! when she have doubts.
I spent 2hours on it!
Tooted.

But handed in!
And that is when stupidity decides to kick in.
They decided to play this game(*the game in the show "ye man nu you"*).
Involves the hand game "scissors,paper,stone" and flicking of the forehead.
First person i played this game with?
wk.
And i tell you, i sucks at "scissors,paper,stone"!
T.T
As a result, i lost like 60% of the time.
And guess what, his "flicking" skills.........is not bad one lo.
Surface area..smaller = more pain.
Then after that, i still dono what is pain~
SL.
I sucked at scissors,paper,stone la!
Lost.
Then my poor forehead kept getting "flicked" at.

And, is not pain actually(*numb le numb le*).
Then started to sharp pain.
Then i touch touch touch.
GOT A BUMP!
UGLY!!!!
VERY UGLY!!
Pain is pain, but never mind.
UGLY IS THE MAIN THING.

I know i enough ugly le, must add on de meh?!
T.T
Never mind, just pray hard the bump with go away.
I dont want to have wk's forehead. At least his is got use one, my one, no use one!

grrr.
Then after that is DE.
They decided to pluck the keys out again.
T.T
Sians. But of course, managed to place them back lo.
Hehes.
Then Computer Programming lesson.
Junejune's and my fav lesson of the day.
Given a lab test today.
Complete two codes in like around 1hour or so.
=)
Started from scratch one lo!
And realised i am really careless.
T.T
But managed to complete them.
I love the feeling of being able to complete something on my own.
Oh-i-so-love-C#.

But today, i got a shock.
The giddy feeling is back.
The last time i experience it was when i was out with yue.
Giddy, wanted to puke so much.
Drank lemon tea(*my savious*), took a cab home and felt better.
But the giddiness kept coming back.
Went to see a doc.
Doc said, the head, got water? Or something like that~

Today, so kiakia.
Later puke, i can throw face le la!

lols.
But lucky, all thanks to the elderflower flavored sweets, i felt better!
Hiaks!

Now i am home, after rewarding myself with Mac!
=)
Wanted meemee to help me rub my blueblack but forgot she's working.
So went to cook the egg myself.
And rub the blueblack on my own.
So pathetic.
T.T
Imagine me, helping myself to settlemy own bruise.
Pathetic la!
Pray pray tomorrow wont blueblack.
Use concealer also cannot conceal one lo!
pray pray

(*i totally forgot i haven do my DE*)
happyday today.
But i am so not myself today!
first thing, i actually put myself into such a stupid thing. getting myself bruised when i know i sucks in that game.
And then later, i left wk vandalize my hand(*ok, sec school also got draw hand*).
I miss Sec sch days! I miss those days that i wrote 4E2 when the maths teacher gave us lecture notes.
And then i kept knocking into things today.
Really not myself.
Hehes.
OKok, got to complete my DE le.
Tomorrow's lesson starts at 2!
Lucky me or what?!
Hehe!!

Woofs.
Wish me luck for DE.
Feels so relaxed after handing in projects, clearing lab test!
Woofs!

Another proj that i am PROUD of.
It may be the simplest tic tac toe around, but i made it from scratch!
Love it!
I simply love it!
Ideas i thought of on my own.
Codes i thought.
Color combi i thought.
I LOVE THIS!
Hehes!

MICHELLE'S CIRCUIT WORKED!


YES!
It worked!
After like 2hours of sweating(*i am nervous la*), hardwork and straining, I MANAGED TO DO IT!
I finished soldering, wire wrapping(*burning myself, cutting myself*) and i placed the speaker in.
And guess what, NOTHING HAPPENED.
My heart sank.
NOTHING.
No sound!
And then...panic.
Went onto MSN and told anyone i see first.
T.T
And then i went back to "troubleshoot".
Woof.
Guess what's wrong, forgot to place the IC into the socket.
Woofs!
Place the IC in, and the speaker starts to rumble.
I AM LIKE SO HAPPY!
It's like when human first landed on the moon. When the mum first saw her baby.
That kinda feeling!
I am like so HAPPY.
And i have no idea why.
Michelle~
It may not be a complicated or hard circuit, but i..managed to do it myself.
I hope i can have this circuit back.
I love it.
Sounds awful, but i treat it like my baby.

Sis wanted to play with it.
I let her play with it and i immediately took it away.
She is known to be the terrorist of all things that can be played with.
She broke like most of my toys when i was younger. She broke their legs!
So, my circuit also got legs, she break, my heart will ache one lo.

HAPPINESSS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woofs. Now can concentrate on my DE(*sick*) and my C#. Woofs!
I am a happy girl!
WOOFS!!!!!
HAPPY!
And the coffee effect is still on, which means, i cant get to sleep yet.
Sleep at 12 then.

HAPPY LA!
Admiring my circuit.
Woofs.
Happy!
Hehes!
I am dumb i know.
Happy can le mah.
Hehes!
Michelle ar michelle!

Okok, tulu~
Nights to all!

BACK!

Went to meet huili and then weikang and sl.
Abit weird.
Ask me why i went out today.
To buy stuff for my project.
Why so many people?
I have no idea.
Where i went?
Only to simlim and home.
Very weird right.
Just to get some stuff.
But the damage to my wallet..
A roll of wirewrapping wire is $6.00++ and then i bought a cutter for $7.40.
I left my cutter in school.
EXPENSIVElo.
And it's weird for me to go there to get one.
Like i am somekinda maniac like that.

tsktsk.
Then after that, met junejune to get the long legged pins.
And now, i gotta save time and complete everything.
At least my PCB and my TTT(*beautifying only*).
Wish my luck people!

A trailer of the movie: A moment to remember.
At first when junejune told me about the movie, i thought it was A walk to remember.
But it's not.
It's a korean movie.
Something similar to A walk to remember(*by Nicolas Sparks*).

NothingNess

At least something i am proud of~
It may be one of the SIMPLEST tictactoe game around, but who cares.
I made it.
Sorry, but my colour combination sucks.
Ar, one thing that made me happier. Seeing that at least one of the three projects, is not cocking up on me.
Simple, my style~(*oh crap*)

Gonna go get wires later and collect the longleg pins from junejune.
=)
Can i sleep tonight? I don't know.
Nothing much to do, just feel that i have not enough time.
Not enough time for what? I don't know.
Oh crap.
Okok, cut everything short.
Wish me luck people, i need it badly..

Can someone tell me i am not the "suay"-iest in the world.
MY DE IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY!!
MY PCB IS HAYWIRE!
FORGOT WHAT I DREW~
Hit me on the face la!

Im quite sick of the normalcy to judge.

TIRED

BEEN WORKING ON THE FREAKING ELECTRONIC ORGAN FOR LIKE HOURS!
Tired!
You won't know my pain~
COX, YOUR CIRCUIT IS WORKING FINE! AND MINE IS NOT!
Gosh~
Sorry.
Doing the pcb can drive me nuts.
Doing it, i just feel so angry with it.
And looking at my DE circuit, why does it feels so weird?!
GOSH!

PCB, monday must hand in!
Am i dead or what?!
DEAD!
If i can just give up..and just fail that module..
BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT!
NEVER MIND.
DIE DIE...TOMORROW ALSO MUST COMPLETE IT!
But it's gonna be damn ugly.
Hate it la.
ARGH!
Don't tell me, everything can be solved.
YOU ARE NOT ME! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS!
Dont tell me, my circuit is so wrong...
YOU SHUT UP! I KNOW IT'S WRONG! IT'S MINE CIRCUIT!
Gosh...i am really...going nuts!

I want it to be MINE circuit. I just dont want to ask for help.
MINE circuit.
People need less than 2hours.
I NEED LIKE 2DAYS?!
So feel like crying le la!
Crying DONT HELP!
Michelle..just give it your best..
(*so feel like crying le la*).
Michelle, go bang the wall for your stupidity.
HAISH!
WEIKANG IS NOT MAKING ME FEEL ANY BETTER.
HUMPF!
T.T
Do till is so feel like gorging my eyeballs out.
HOW CAN I MAKE SUCH A SILLY MISTAKE?!
So, now i am just scolding myself.
Making a big fuss.
Just what are you doing michelle?!
You got to stop wasting time complaining!

WHY ME?!
I WANT A NORMAL WORKING CIRCUIT!
I WANT A NORMAL BOARD!
Monday due..
You can just kill me~

haish! Stop complaining..
And i shall get to work.
(*searching frantically for TTT codes~*)
Great!!!

男人不坏女人不爱.

Words words words words


Have been redrawing my circuit for like the fifth times already!!!
FIFTH TIMES!
So want to complain how unfair it is.
My classmates need to just spent 2hrs or less on the freaking circuit, but i have been on it for a day and with so many problems!
But of course, i know it's MY fault.
No one to blame.
My fault!

Never mind.
Gonna work on it already.
Good luck Mich!
Good luck, you really need it.
=)
Back to the gruesome training..
T.T
Blame myself.
Way to go ger~

Freaking

Finished my DE.
Spent like a whole one and a half hour on it.
It works~
Of course. If this simple thing can don't work, i can go bang wall le.
Gotta complete my PCB.
I don't even know where to start. I am lost!
Never mind, MICHELLE GOOD LUCK..

Gotta do a lil revision for my Lab test. I don't want to freak out even if it's open book.
Ok, i should really stop complaining that time is not enough(*enough is never enough for humans*).
Like Mr Chew once said, you got to make time out of your time.
So, well, Michelle should really stop wasting time!

Answered. Friends.

Some links i found from sharon.

VidONE >>> i found this vid interesting. I seldom see so many birds like that. Those white specks are actually birds...
VidTWO

TIRED!!!!
Back from a jog.
Have never pushed myself that hard before.
My legs are tired!!
Went jogging. Yeaps. You heard it right.
Motivation? not food. not anything. BUT my dardar WUZUN!
Woofs.
Went jogging and since i am like a more slacker one, my friend gave me motivation.
Help me ...get all the epi of hanakimi and give me!
VCDS!
Hehes.
Then jogged.
Jogged the whole stretch, cannot stop somemore...cox stop, stamina will drop.
From the reservoir and along the canal/big drain right to the end which is near the ITE.
Tired!
OMG!
Tired.
And we thought of a story of BULL FROGS.
Why? Because we heard bull frogs(*he insisted they are FROGS. my goodness~* So who is the smart one now?!).
A truly lame story we thought of while resting and walking to return the VCDS/DVDS.
After that, HOME!

The story, can't really remember the details...hehes
_________________________________________________________________
Once upon a time, a bullfrog gave birth to a little tadpole(*tadpole also applies to bullfrogs de ar?).
The tadpole grew up into a bullfrog.
The bullfrog lived in luxury.
Eating delicious flies. Sitting on cosy lilypads(*do bullfrogs sit on lilypads?! He is confused~*).
It lived happily on and on for years and year.

Played in the morning with brother bullfrog and slept at night in the arms of mama bullfrog.
Soon, little bullfroggy's life turn for the worst.
Little bullfroggy's home was destroyed by humans and other animals that trampled on their home.
Little bukkfroggy and his family had to shift from place to place to escape from other animal/human attacks.
This went on for a very long time.
There was once little bullfroggy got lost. So little bullfroggy had to stayover at auntie bullfroggy's place for some time.
Little bullfroggy didn't like living at other people's place. Little bullfroggy miss his family.
Little bullfroggy was young then. little bullfroggy didn't like staying away from family.
Soon little bullfroggy's family found him and took him home.
But the once cosy family they had was never the same.
Little bullfroggy knew. Little bullfroggy didn't dare to ask for tastier flies. Didn't dare to ask for nicer and cosier lilypads(*ain't all lilypads the same?!*).
Little bullfroggy admired other little bullfroggies.
He wonder why other bullfroggies have nicer homes and why other animals/human didn't attack their homes.
Little bullfroggy knew that there are some things that cannot be explained in life.
He took everything that was given to him. The pain, the suffering.
But little bullfroggy never once felt that it was unfair.
Soon little bullfroggy grew up to be a hardworking bullfroggy.
Bullfroggy knew he had to work hard for things he want. He knows one cannot be greedy.
Although bullfroggy's life turned for the better, everything was still not going steady.
Soon bullfroggy grew up, started to hang around with more people.
Bullfroggy was allowed to get out of lilypads and wander around.

Bullfroggy had very ugly spots that made other bullfroggies and animals dislike bullfroggy.
Bullfroggy didn't mind.
Bullfroggy continued to work hard.
Soon bullfroggy started to learn more about the feeling.
Attraction. (*getting corny le lo~ Diaoz*)

Bullfroggy confessed his love for little fox(*dont ask me how. His thinking is weird~*).
Little foxy turned him down harshly.
Bullfroggy didn't get depressed.
He continued getting into relationships in which he didn't really liked the other animal.
Bullfroggy knew no matter what happens, one still has to pretend everything is ok.(*he stole my idea!*)
Bullfroggy is easily attracted to other animals.
He might have mistaken affection for serious liking.
Till now, bullfroggy don't know if he likes the one now.
Bullfroggy became much more of a timid bullfrog now.
The once dared to love and dared to hate bullfroggy is no longer there.
Bullfroggy liked this frog. But they are different.
One is a bullfroggy and one is a frog.
Bullfroggy and frog became friends.
But bullfroggy believed the same thing he used to believe-one still has to pretend that everything is ok. (*he love using my idea!*)

End.
We ended there.
Think of an ending for bullfroggy(*aint it cute?! i thought of the name~*)
Tired.

So tired of typing bullfroggies and bullfroggies.
yawns.
Gonna complete everything tomorrow.
Which is referring to my DE and PCB circuits.
Tell me i am unlucky. It's only january and i have lost two stuff(*still counting*).
T.T
GOOD LUCK MITCH!
(*Need luck now*)

TIRED

Lots to rant.
I hate this part.
Never mind.
Went to school early..Well, on the dot.
But forgot to bring lab sheets~
Dang~
So wait.
Wait.
Still waiting.
Waiting for someone.

Then hl came.
Do did the DE lab work with her.
I LOVE DE LAB.
Hehes.
After that, junejune and i decided to be nice kids and head to Programming lesson.
T.T
Went in.
Sat alittle while.
Listened.
Her stomachs started to grumble.
Lols. She is hungry.
So decided not to attend that lesson again.
She lost to FOOD again!

So we all head to amk to eat.
I am beginning to be sick of that place.
Oh, how i hate AMK.
The place where i got lost.
The place where memories are.
I hate that place!!
Ok, then went to the marketplace to eat.
Junejune and i, took congee.
Intending to be healthier.
We didn't order anything extra.
But somehow, congee don't taste too nice today.
T.T
I had this super weird tasting Prawn porridge.
I know creative..but, please make it taste nicer!
It's a tad too stinky.
Very ocean smell. Not in the fresh way, but in the NOT FRESH way!

Then i opt for a healthier choice. FRUITS.
Healthy fruits.
Honey dew and pineapple.
Yummmms.
Love fruits!!
After that, the guys head for pool.
I hate pool! I have no idea why, i just don't like pool.
We were tempted by the Initial D game.
The racing game.
Played.
FUN!
LOVE IT!
HOOKED ON IT!
Although i don't really like arcades too.
Must be because of the impression of SunPlaza's arcade.
Hmmms.

Then after that, head back to school for 1009.
YAWNS!

Then home.
Initially wanted to take the ride home.
My friend offered me to fetch me home.
T.T But i rejected it. The lorry ride made me feel disgusting so better not.
Wanted to go starbucks.
T.T
But headed home ON MY OWN(*ok..got junejune..but i mean, take own transport when my card is $$-less*).

Wanted to head for a jog immediately after school.
But raining!
So will head to jog later in the evening(*7pm*) with my friend.
Weird~
He's gonna ride a bike..So...kinda unfair lo!
I use legs~(*ride bike, no need leg meh?!*)
Need to return disc somemore.
T.T
Pray pray no need pay fines.

T.T
Be back to blog later.
TUlus~

FACE ROTTING


MY face is rotting.
Got a few pimples on my nose!
And i applied the honey cream.
So afraid that my face will rot.
Die le la.

TIRED and TRYING

Freakingly tired.
Had school in the morning.
8am lesson, 8.15 dismissed.
He practically just asked us to go take attendence.
That is all.
And we just have to hand in three pieces of the work by 11.59pm.
That is all.
So..i am like cheated of 1hr of sleep.
1hr of sleep means alot to me.
Especially when i am getting OLDER.

So went to the stadium with del.
She insist on jogging.
I sat there, and look.
She jogged the first and walked..
And i continued reading the book.

And Maths.
And Creativity Innovation.
Nothing much today.
After that, went to Chong Pang to have lunch.
Chong Pang = sian place.
Nothing interesting to me since i frequent that place before.

Junejune left. My manager of the day.
She better bring back some food for me.
T.T
And so, headed back to school for WSS.
Wanted to complete my PCB.
But due to my stupidity, alot of work is needed.
I am like totally ZZZz with myself.
Just solder and it's done.
But me, I NEED TO CHECK. CUT. AND WIRE WRAP.
Tell me, why am i so unlucky?!
And now, i still can't find my DE proj...
TICTACTOE gone.

What's wrong with me?!
Totally sian-ed.
Seeing people's pcb board work...
Makes me so......uneasy!
Suckiest feeling i tell you.
Never mind.
I believe, there is nothing i cannot complete.
TRUST MYSELF! TRUST MYSELF! (*don't demoralize me. I just want support o*)

Not going by what i plan.
I don't want to talk too much.
Like i've said, talk too much, wrong too much.
Shut my mouth, and everything's gonna be fine.


Given a "dateline". By weekend.
An answer.
Dang~
I hate given a choice.
A chance to open myself to another new part of my journey?
I don't know.

Loving.
Missing.
Disappointed.

Thought it would be easy.
Thought it would be happy.
I didn't know.

Read my mind, Read my Soul

Was a totally boring day today.
But before that, just want to mention that, EATING sweets can make you HIGH!
After the Computer And Programming Quiz, Junejune and i were like high lo.
We just want to play" people. Going home seems early.
And we so wanted to play people.
Wanted to follow YiXiang, but gave up.
Called our first victim..failed.
Because i see her, i laugh.
She hear the voice, she laugh.
So we are like laughing all the way.
T.T

Then board the bus.
Thinking of who to "play".
Hiakhiak!
First victim, i called while on the bus home.
She got a shocked.
She kept repeating: " I am not lesbian i am not lesbian. "
I was like LAUGHING at the another end.
LAUGHING!
(*shuang ar shuang....u are NOT LESBIAN, I KNOW!*)
She really got a shock.
I am seldom so serious around her one.
Woops.
Hehe.

Then next victim.
This one.
Can read me like a book!
Told him, speechless.
Then asked why.
Then know is fake de le.
T.T
Can't let me perform alittle bit one mah?

Other victims, i shan't mention.
Freakingly funny!
But long long one time, so it's ok.
Hehes!
Must be the sweets.
After eating and giving out sweets, junejune and i seems to be on a SUPER GOOD MOOD.
Weird!
But she is like humming songs along the way and i am like so HAPPY.
And guess what, for no reason one.

But happy stuff, never last long.
If that happy moment/high-ness can last.
But that's ifs.
No ifs.

Ok, let's see what i done today.
Woke up early yet UNWILLINGLY.
Then head to school for Steven Ng's lesson.
T.T
Total boredom.
And then DE.
SLEEPY!
Then headed to bugis for lunch.

Thought so hard that my head ached.
Thought so much that i see no light(*that is abit exaggerating*).
Just so puzzled with things in life.
So puzzled!
Answer me: Can you be with someone you dont **** and when you are interested in someone else?
Nothing much, just curious about it.
Just puzzled.
Ok, then had lunch at pasta mania.
Ate (*NOT ALOT*).
Then talked.
Junejune ....is beginning to be good at SUANING ME ALREADY!
T.T
Lols, but never mind.
hiakhiak.

Then went to the library.
And all of the sudden.
I just feel that, the once nice person in my heart, just dropped suddenly.
Fell from the nice person to the suckiest person.
That is why, never rate someone that high up.
All is nothing my disappointment.
I hate to admit this, but i am disappointed.
On the lorry ride home, i can't help but feel that being silly and slow/retarded is the best gift from God.
The so-called in a "healthy" state of mind tends to think that they/we are the luckier ones.
But are we?
We are faced with so many negative stuff.
We do negative stuff.
The slow/silly/retarded people do face them, but i guess, they are much more happier than us.
They see the simplest things in life.
We don't. We see the super complicated stuff in life.
Supposing, someone gives you a sweet, unwrapped.
And you think...did the sweet drop on the floor?
And there goes the opportunity to eat the sweet.
We are all in doubt of each other.
Because, we can't rely on others or we aren't reliable at all.

Simple things we can't do.
Saying No. And saying Yes becomes to hard.
An answer might affect someone. A word can affect someone.
Sometimes we say things that comes into our mind.
We just don't think before we speak.
I hate that. I do that.
I am afraid of doing that now.
I am afraid that my answer/words hurt someone or myself.
Like i have said, i love myself more than some people.
Yet, i can't bear to hurt other.
By right, i should count myself lucky, or should i not?

Can i not grow up?
I just want to remain like a kid.
Nothing much to worry about.
Argh!
It seems my Optimistic+++ got virus le.
Program not working well.

How much i hate myself.
Can i be..someone that is emotionless?
Can i can i?

I remember someone saying that the difference between humans and animals is that, humans have the ability to love.
What crap is that.
Remember to news on the lion?
It hugged the lady that saved him.
Can humans do that?
We are afterall a bunch of ingrates.
I said them to seriously?

Heard news about kids killing their parents?
Heard before kids scolding their parents? (*I am guilty of that at times*)
Yes right.
So if you say that humans have the ability to love....Are you right.
You say animals kill each other(*Same species*) for food.
Then how about humans?
We hurt each other for our own survival and happiness.
Arent we the same?

So many times i hate the fact that i am Human.
You know, you love and hate it so much.
I love being a human because i get to taste yummy food.
I get to wear clothes.
And i get to use so called high tech devices.
Yet, i hate being human because, i am selfish by nature.
My mouth becomes the most deadly weapon the world.
So many times, i just feel like locking myself up in the world of mine.
Just not making contact with anyone.
Being around people at times make me feel inferior.
Makes me feel disgusting.
I know, and i hate it.

I just want to pretend i am fine with everything.
I tried to pretend i am fine.
I smile when i dont mean to.
I kept silent when i wanted very much to speak.
Perhaps, life is all about the game of pretending?
Does one ever get tired of pretending?
Because i do.

I believe i am not someone that is pessimistic.
I am not.
It's just that i am thinking in a more negative way.
But i do see light.
I am a happy girl on the whole.
But bits and pieces of me am not.

So many people think differently of me.
Let me see.
Some said i don't think my age.
Some said i am a happy-go-lucky girl.
Some said i am a "think too much" kinda girl.
Some said i am a playful girl.
Some said i am a sensible girl.
So many different ways people think of me.
Someone said that i am nice.
First look, nothing special, wont want to know me.(*harsh la! T.T*)
But getting to know me, i seems nice.
SEEMS!
But well, i can only say, i change.
I change faster than fast.
Afterall, i take after my zodiac sign(*gemini*).
I change too fast.
I might be nice and happy this moment, and evil and unhappy the next.
That's me. And so many people have already gotten use to this me.

I know i am like that.
But don't expect me to change.
Because, I AM CHANGING EVERYTIME!
Some changes of myself that i hate yet can't change.
Recently, i am someone that am unable to pretend that i am fine.
I thought i could pretend to feel happy with you.
Thought i could pretend.
But that is no longer me.
I can no longer do that.
There are loopholes everywhere.
I tried.
I asked around. So many people gave me a No as an answer.
I know. Good intentions, don't necessary give good feelings.
But what can i do?
I am no longer trying to prevent people not getting hurt, i am trying to minimize hurt, even to myself.
Tell me what to do, because i really don't know.
The hatred i have for myself at times, is unbearable.

I hate posting such retarded stuff here.
I read, and i so feel like DELETING IT.
But if i dont do this here, where and whom can i grumble to?
Grumbling to human, just makes me feel, that i am vulnerable and IRRITATING.
Why i want myself to stop talking too much, i dont want to be an irritating pest(*i alr am!*).
Trying not too.
But~

Never mind.
I am thirsty.
Time for some honey!!!

Pimples outbreak.
Time to sing to the tunes~
Happy is the way to go girl~~

====Downloading Optimistic+++ in progress====

Yes. I need to be optimistic.
I just lost my DE proj.
Great.
Intend to add something to it, cannot find.
Hard work(*ok, not that hard*) gone.
Maybe it's for me to do a nicer one.
(*thing positively*)

Want to do.
But hungry.
Meemee's not home with food.
I am hungry!
No food = No energy to think.
Food food!!
Hungry Hungry!

It's just a feeling.
A feeling.
Forget about it.
It brings nothing but saddness.
One goes, one comes.

Forget it.
Be a emotionless freak girl.
Way to go~

=====Updating=====

Tired.
Woke up early with the intention to skip lesson.
BUT CANNOT!
I can never do that!
So i dragged my feet, packed my bag, bathed(*cold!*) and off i go.
Took the lift, forgot to press the lift(*how is that possible?!*) and so went up to tenth floor.
T.T

Tired!
Mind is like blank~
After maths, went to AMK to have lunch.
KFC!
I didn't eat alot.
Just a meal(*zinger meal and i didnt eat finish the cheese fries!*).
And took a piece of chix skin.
Very small only.
But guilty le la!
T.T

Then went to amk hub. Had yummy soya bean ice cream.
YUMMS!
I love that ice cream.
So soya bean!
Yummms Yumms.

(*Missing it already*)
Then after that, totally boring lessons of 1009.
T.T
My brain hurts la.

Thought so much today.
Important things and non important things.
So many people say i don't look like those pessimistic sort.
Enter my world, and i just feel i am.
T.T
Strong "zibei"-ness.

So, i have decided.
Shall start to install a new program.
Name: Optimistic +++
Downloading time: 48hours.
Needs anti virus prog to tackle viruses.
Hehes.
For my brain lar.

Okok, cut it short, not much time to complete my stuff.
Pardon me for my short termed memory people.
It's getting on my nerves too.
Srys!

Loving

Bored and time to make decisions

Bored. Yeaps.
Well, i remembered something.
SL asked me what's my wish at the "hei guanyin" temple.
And i forgot to wish for MY EXAMS!!
Jialat!
I wish for those nitsy bitsy stuff only.
T.T
One wish is for it to not to rain that night.
T.T
Then the rest is like small things.
T.T
wasted.
Can wish now?
T.T

Okok, that aside.
Michelle decided.
I have been more on the slacking mode today.
So i shall start all official studying, clearing of any more doubts on proj.
And of course, to study practice math.
Someone..
I need help la.
Integration so far ok.
But the behind one. KIAKA la.

Okok.
Michelle, you promised yourself you will start studying/revising/rushing tomorrow.
Promises are not meant to be broken.
Other affairs, i no longer give a damn.
Fill my phone with miss calls, and i don't care.
I practically am tired of being nice to tell you nicely to stay away from me.
So, from today onwards, your calls/sms-es are going to be ignored.
I said it, i mean it.


p/s: Michelle is getting older. The Bee Man said that signs of aging includes poor memory...etc.
Poor me. Poor memory! T.T

Some pics and some grumblings

Managed to kope some pics from sharon..
The view from the "hotel"/apartment...
Kevin korkor and mama.

Rantings
MY TIC TAC TOE CODES ARE GONE ALREADY!
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME THAT VISUAL C# IS NOT IDIOT-PROOF?!
MUST RE-DO LE LA.
T.T